Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask why me? Then a voice answers nothing personal your name just

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask why me? Then a voice answers 'nothing personal, your name just happened to come up'.

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All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

A whole stack of memories never equal one little hope.

Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

Decorate your home. It gives the illusion that your life is more interesting than it really is.

I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.