Down the road I'll probably have a kid or two or three. And there will probably be political events

Down the road I'll probably have a kid or two or three. And there will probably be political events or spiritual things to comment on and humor.

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Sometimes life is so unkind, but change is never a waste of time

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you when you think everything's okay and everything's going right.

Life has a funny way of helping you out when you think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up in your face.

My three addictions of choice are food, love and work.

Just as true humor is laughter at oneself, true humanity is knowledge of oneself.

Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun.

Jokes? There are no jokes. The truth is the funniest joke of all.

You can fool some people sometimes, but you can’t fool all the people all the time.