I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good and make a cart.

Author: Mitch Hedberg

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Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!

I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

The most effective way to destroy people is to deny and obliterate their own understanding of their history.

There is only one good, knowledge, and one evil, ignorance.

Good night and sweet dreams, my love!

Love is when two people know everything about each other and are still friends.