The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get I'll never be as good as a wall.

Author: Mitch Hedberg

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Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!

I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

There is only one good, knowledge, and one evil, ignorance.

Good night and sweet dreams, my love!

Sex is always about emotions. Good sex is about free emotions; bad sex is about blocked emotions.

Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.