There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalat

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.

Author: Steven Wright

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I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.

Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.

If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?

Love is when two people know everything about each other and are still friends.

I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.

People don’t take trips, trips take people.

Everything in the world is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power.