Happiness is having a large loving caring close-knit family in another city.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Author: George Burns

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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up, and finally you forget to pull it down.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Love is when two people know everything about each other and are still friends.

I love to travel, but hate to arrive.

He who would travel happily must travel light.

I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.