Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

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Explore More Quotes by George Burns

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

First you forget names then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally yo

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up, and finally you forget to pull it down.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

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