W. C. Fields

W. C. Fields

William Claude Dukenfield (January 29, 1880 – December 25, 1946), better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer. 

Enjoy the best W. C. Fields picture quotes.

Read more about W. C. Fields on Wikipedia.

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

Remember a dead fish can float downstream but it takes a live one to swim upstream.

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake which I also keep handy.

I drink therefore I am.

I must have a drink of breakfast.

Never give a sucker an even break.

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night she can still survive.

Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.

I never worry about being driven to drink, I just worry about being driven home.

If at first you don't succeed try try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

It was a woman who drove me to drink and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking, it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death where is thy sting?

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

Don't worry about your heart it will last you as long as you live.

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