Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck

Erma Louise Bombeck (February 21, 1927 – April 22, 1996) was an American humorist who achieved great popularity for her newspaper column that described suburban home life from the mid-1960s until the late 1990s. Bombeck also published 15 books, most of which became bestsellers.

Enjoy the best Erma Bombeck picture quotes.

Read more about Erma Bombeck on Wikipedia.

In general, my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.

Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.

I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it instead of carrying it.

Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments.

I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Like religion politics and family planning cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.

I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order.

Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.

If you can't make it better you can laugh at it.

For some of us watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.

Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one, Helen Keller is the other.

Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide.

I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.

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